1 week down, who knows how many to go.

I have a feeling I might end up blogging more over the next few months.  I am trying to get in a routine and mostly just think of things to fill my do and I enjoy recording memories on the blog.

Tomorrow is my follow up ultrasound to see how my cervix is doing since going on progesterone and bedrest. I am really hopeful it has stayed put and has not shortened much.  I have noticed a HUGE difference since spending my days lying around.  The pressure, contractions and back pain/ache are almost non-existent as long as I don't stand up.  This is a very good sign but regardless, your cervix doesn't usually grow longer and I won't be getting off bedrest until viability of life is a lot hire for our little girl.  Last week the doctor said, at longest (and I think most likely) I will be on bedrest and progesterone until week 34.  This is when they consider the baby term and at a point that she would do well.  For many reasons, this length could be longer or shorter but for now that is my long term goal in my head.  Sooo, 1 week down and 11 to go.  When I see it that way it doesn't look quite so bad.

I am hoping to go back to making lists frequently so I can remember to be thankful and joyous during this time.

Things I am thankful for (in my first week of bedrest)

• Feeling more confident that the baby is safe and overall feeling a lot more comfortable
• Friends, family and church being so gracious and caring for us and Ariy especially
• Ariy getting more quality time with "Dada."  I can tell he LOVES it.
• Seeing Rick really step up despite being in midst a busy season for him.  He has been very thoughtful and aware of my needs as well as Ariy's. Loving us well.
• A new season of Ellen.  I won't lie, this gets pretty lonely but Ellen made me laugh and cry yesterday which I needed.
• More time to think, read, do online projects, etc.
• Journal - I haven't journaled in years.  Glad to be getting back into it.
• Ariy being so resilient so far.  He gets the hint that mama has to lie down a lot but he seems to be ok with it so far.

Things that are not easy:

• Creating a routine/schedule that I stick to.  I try and set goals of one or two things to accomplish each day but I will be honest, a lot of my day is simply doing a lot of nothing.
• Watching Ariy play or have a hard time and not being able to jump up and help in the situation.  This is really hard.  Letting go of control and letting others be the primary parents right now is so hard.
• Feeling like my muscle is wasting away, which it is.  I weigh myself last week when I was at my doctors appointment.  This was before I was on full bed rest but I had lost 5 lbs from my weigh in 2 weeks before.  I mentioned this to my midwife and she said thats totally normal (but depressing).
• Feeling bored and lonely.  This is only the first week and I think it will get better but I am used to getting out of the house often even if it is only to go to the park with Ariy.  Just laying in bed or on the couch all day gets to you after a while.  I miss seeing people even if they are just strangers at the park or grocery store.