A year in pictures (4 month to come)

                                         

                                         

Let me eat my cake.

Yesterday was Ariy's one year birthday and we had a LOT of fun. Highlights to come soon but I'm sure his favorite was when he got his first piece of chocolate cake ever.

 

 

364 days in my new job

Tomorrow marks Ariy's one year birthday. I have been thinking about the post I would like to do about and for him but I also have been thinking about the fact that I have now been a mom for almost 1 year. I am shocked honestly when I say that out loud.

I don't know if I have fully taken on my identity as a mom. I mean, I love Ariy so much and wouldn't change a thing but sometimes when I am away from him or when I go to get him from his nap, I think "wo, he is mine. Forever.". It's hard to wrap your mind around.

I think one misconception I had was that I would feel very different and ignorantly I thought I would be more complete. I had what most have when it comes to getting married; I thought Ariy would make me understand myself more. To the contrary, I have only felt those holes, insecurities and all the baggage I carry behind me become more noticeable than ever. Thankfully, Ariy pushes me to surrender those things and pursue wholeness in hopes of being the best mom I can be. I have started making steps in directions I really needed to take and have noticed so much change already.

I am a messy mom. Or maybe, I am a mom who doesn't mind mess. Ariy has fully entered tornado stage. He moves through the house with an unbelievable skill to make everything end up on the floor, in piles, dirty, and sticky. I am the Mom that mostly ignores it or becomes a twin tornado next to him. Daddy is not sure how he is liking living with two tornados.

I thrive when I am "fed.". Generally speaking, I mean socially fed but also vocationally. I need to build friendships and to get to know people. I have enjoyed pursuing friendships since being a mom. It it does take intentionality. I also notice myself feeling very insecure about how to navigate friendships now being a mom. Sometimes I can't hangout alone. Will they mind having a baby around? When I get the chance to go out on my own, will my other mommy friends want to get out too or would they be offended to know I was going out alone?! I am a better mom and wife when I get my time; whether that's working, going to a coffee shop or hanging out with friends. This is important for me and I am thankful for the family that make this possible.

I'm still every bit me. I am quirky, I love colors, I eat too much junk food but I love health, I love people, I'm deeply insecure but working on it, I enjoy working hard, I am messy, I like to laugh and I love reality singing competitions. This was all true before ariy and still true now. I am beginning to embrace the fact that I get to be my strange self and raise my child. I will love learning about his oddities and embracing the many uniqueness he has.

I love being a mom. I am very blessed. My hope for year 2 is to really embrace the title of mom. Own it. I am a mom and hear me roar or something like that. I also hope to continue to work towards wholeness realizing that I will always be me.

 

 

 

My super spiritual son

Ariy is 9 days away from being 1 years old however, he has already celebrated 2 Easters. Last year we were able come leave the hospital on Saturday afternoon, the day before Easter. I have very fond memories of our time celebrating last year. We had close family over and celebrated by holding a just days old baby. This year, we were able to attend church and have the same family over to celebrate once again. This time Ariy was moving around, enjoying his fans that have been such an important part of his life this past year.

I am really enjoying this phase of life right now. I am enjoying how much Ariy is a sponge and is learning so much every day. I am enjoying my job and new role at work simply allowing me to be support. I am thankful for a new bible study that is growing me one daily basis and thankful for a friend who is just as excited about it as I am. I am optimistic and dreaming big about Lara and my recent business venture. I often feel like Easter comes and goes and despite all my best intentions to meditate and be thankful for the freedom and life Jesus has allowed us to live, I somehow just let it pass by with one short prayer. This year I feel a bit different. I feel like I am starting to understand (again maybe) how to live life to the fullest and Easter was an amazing reminder of who to be thankful for for that gift. There is freedom in Christ.